It may be long, but it's really a good read.  And it'll either help you or someone you may know.  It's an excerpt from a book by the pastor of www.lifechurch.tv

The “I Can Change Him” Lie

If I’ve seen this once, I’ve seen it a thousand times.  Please don’t be number 1,001.  A sweet, beautiful, talented, Christ-following girl meets a not-so-great, all-the-lights-are-red guy and thinks to herself, he might not be great now, but I can change him.

It’s time for a holy rebellion.  Rebel against that lie!  You can’t change anyone – especially him!

You might recognize the following scenario.

Sweet girl meets Jerk guy.  Everyone but Sweet girl knows Jerk guy is, well, a jerk.  For some reason her friends can’t understand, Sweet girl thinks Jerk guy is great – or at least will be great when she’s through with him.

Don’t get me wrong, Jerk guy has some decent qualities.  Every now and then, Jerk guy does something kind of sweet.  But everyone who knows him agrees he’s mostly a jerk.

Sometimes, Jerk guy pushes Sweet girl to do things sexually.  Other times he tells her she isn’t attractive.  Jerk guy often flirts with other girls and is completely into himself.

Everyone knows that Jerk guy treats Sweet girl badly.  Even Jerk guy’s friends agree that his future isn’t that bright.  Sweet girl’s parents pray daily that she’ll dump him.  Her friends all wonder what she sees in him.  Little do they know what’s going on inside Sweet girl’s mind:

They just don’t know him like I do.

He has so much potential.

Everyone who loves me is just plain wrong.

I know he’s not perfect, but I can change him.

Sweet girl, please wake up!  If everyone who loves you says you’re dating Jerk guy, you’re dating Jerk guy.  Please listen before it’s too late!  Look at it like this: Imagine you’re looking for a car to get you safely to work or school.  Would you go to a junkyard and say, “I’m looking for a fixer-upper”?  Let’s say you find one that has a big dent in the side and hasn’t run in over two years.  Everyone tells you the car is a pile of junk.  You wouldn’t say, they’re all wrong.  They don’t see what I see in this car.  Perhaps, with a couple of years of work, I could even have this car running.  I want what everyone else says is no good.

You’d listen to the wisdom of those who love you.  You’d continue your search for a car that was in good shape.  Why, then, do so many great girls date and marry not-so-great guys?  Why would they return again and again – and even say “I do” – to someone who doesn’t’ treat them with respect?

The answers are very complex.  If you find that you consistently date guys who don’t respect you, consider these options.

Maybe you enjoy a challenge.  That can be an admirable trait.  But when prayerfully looking for a husband, you don’t want a fixer-upper.  That doesn’t mean the guy God has for you is going to be perfect – that’s obviously impossible.  And it doesn’t mean you won’t be drawn to a person who takes some work to attract.  You might be, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  But you want someone who will embrace his role as spiritual leader.  You don’t want a person whom you have to fight just to keep corralled in God’s truth.  (If you want a challenge, take up skydiving.  It’s safer.)

Or maybe you’d argue, “But, Craig, I only attract jerks.  No matter what I do, I’m always attracting the wrong kind of guy.  Every guy I date is only interested in one thing.”  If the wrong type of guy is always jumping on your hook, maybe you’re fishing with the wrong kind of bait.  Ouch. Before you get mad and slam down this book, think about it.  If every guy who calls only wants sex, maybe you’re sending the wrong signals.

So try some different bait – send a message that contradicts the world’s heartbeat.  Instead of flirting, try genuine friendship.  Instead of cleavage, try character.  Instead of lying on the bed, try kneeling to pray.  Don’t be surprised if a very different type of guy shows interest.

Maybe you’re seething right now, thinking, Craig, I don’t flirt or wear tight clothes or any of that.  How can you say it’s my fault I attract bad guys? Well, giving off the wrong signal is only one reason you could be drawing the wrong kind of guys to you.  Another reason may be your insecurity.  Girls who don’t like themselves, who feel like they’re not good enough to be loved by godly men, often attract guys who are looking to take advantage of them.

To solve this problem, you have to learn to feel confident in who you are in Christ.  If your insecurities run deep, get help from a pastor, friend, counselor, or loved one.  Spend time with people who care about you and support you.  Remind yourself often how worthy you are of real affection and respect.  And remember what I said about emotional leadership in the last chapter: a godly man will see the beauty in you and bring it out.

God loves you more than anyone on this planet ever could.  So love yourself enough to shrug off the jerks and find a man who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

- Page 180-183, Going All the Way by Craig Groeschel